A Twist In My Story

“When you try your best, but you don’t succeed,..

When you get what you want but not what you need,..

When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep,..

Stuck in reverse,..”

I was once an introvert. I’m socially awkward. I never talk unless someone starts. I never laugh out loud. I’m friendly, but I’m not sociable. I just stay in one place, observing,.. listening. I just smile when someone looks me in the eyes. Well I guess that’s my way of responding to people. That’s how my life goes. People ignoring me and me ignoring people.

Do you know the feeling of wanting to talk to someone but you’re shy enough to do so? Yeah, that makes me a loner. A freakin’ boring person. I find it hard to express myself that’s why I barely speak. I didn’t think my life would change. Back in elementary I met friends. They’re awesome but I’m still the same timid kid. Noiseless would be the best description for me. Then, I transferred to a new school and BOOM! Un na un! Tpos na kwento ko XD LOL joke,……okay back to serious mode,..

Going there was so foreign for me. It was different from the life I used to know. I realized that I know nothing about life. I was so innocent back then. The happiness I’ve known that time was defined in a wrong way. I never thought that there’s still more than that,..that I can be more happier more than I can imagine.

People say that real friends are hard to find. But you know what? I’m so lucky, I already found mine. Meeting them was one of the best moments I’ve ever had in my life.

 It may be a tremendous sight that we create yet it’s the most peculiar moment I’ll ever treasure and I’ll never regret that it happened.

“A friend is someone who believes in you,..even when you’ve ceased to believe in yourself,..”

                Crazy. That was the best description for this group of people. They laugh in full volume like there’s no tomorrow. They smile like maniacs and sometimes they do skinship more than lovers. They are certified PLANTS. Yeah, GREEN to be exact. Should I say hopeless romantic too? xD They laugh on random things that only them could understand. They love to EAT, as in so much. They cry together. They fight like kids but they treat each other like family. They fear God and that makes them wonderful.

These people,..(weh? People? xD),…… THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME,..

You’ll think it’s normal but these people taught valuable things I’ll never forget. With them, I learnt to laugh genuinely. I learnt to be strong when everything turns grey. I learnt to be myself.

They make me smile when I’m not okay then they’ll make me cry because of laughter. They’re the ones who won’t let me do stupid things,…alone. They correct me if I’m wrong. They help me built my own confidence. They’re shoulders are just ready for me to lean on. They showed me what real happiness is. And I don’t know what my life would be without them. These jerks lifted me up and they have accepted me despite my flaws. Because of them I learnt to be who I am and I’m learning to express myself.

We have different stories, different characteristics, different weaknesses, different strong points, different interests and hobbies, but no words could describe how important we are to each other. We were bound strongly despite occurrences.

Maybe someone would describe me as quite, boring,.. but because of these people, for some time in my life, I felt worthy,..I knew I was loved and you know, that’s the best feeling in the world,..having someone love you even though you’re not lovable,… and I thank God for that.

Whenever I make them smile, there’s a blissful feeling inside that I can’t explain and when they’re not in their usual self, believe it or not, but deep inside I worry. Laughing with them is the best, talking spontaneously with them is the best, having fun with them is the best, sulking with them is the best, even doing nothing with them is the best. In short, being with THEM is the best and I want to cherish every moment that I’m with them,..

But I felt sorry.

I want to say sorry for the times that I disappoint them, for the times that I’m nowhere to be found when they need me. I know there are times that I upset them, there are times that I annoy the hell out of them, and there are times that I ignore them. But please,…don’t mistake my silence for ignorance.

I’m sorry if I’m not the nicest friend out there. I’m sorry if I don’t comply with what you say. I’m sorry if I can’t grant all of your favors. I’m sorry if I become selfish at times. I’m sorry if there are times that I hurt you.  I’m sorry if there are times that it seemed like I don’t care. Please,… Don’t ever think that I don’t care,.. because deep inside I really do, I do more than what you think,..because I can’t breathe.

I may look like okay. I may look like unaware and oblivious,..but to tell you the truth, I’m hurting. Thanks for this mask, I’ve fooled everyone, like the quote that says:

“It only takes one smile to hide a million tears”

Deep inside it hurts. Don’t ever tell that I’m numb. I’m hurting too. I’m hurting whenever I sense your pain, whenever I see you cry. Because you guys already have a special place in my heart. And it hurts me to see you hurting while I can’t do anything to ease the pain. Even though there are times that I don’t know what you’re going through, I think it’s just enough that I’m there. After all, I can be a pillow, I can be a hanky, and I can lend you my ears. I’m not the type of person who talks more, I’m the type of person who listens more. I’m sorry, I’m not an expressive person.

“You never realize how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have”

I've always tried my best to act normal but I guess I’m doing a good job to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. There are times that I just wanna burst out and weep all the tears that I can produce but I've always told myself that I should BE STRONG. I should be strong for myself and for them. How could they lean on me if I’m weak?,..

 “ I can’t promise to fix all your problems but I can promise you won’t have to face them alone.”

 I really thank God for giving me strength and hope to face life. I've always thought that I’m weak but after all what I've gone through, I guess I have enough strength because God strengthens me,..so don’t hesitate to tell me what you feel because I am ME and you can count on ME.

I want you to know that I treasure each of you and I am what I am right now because you came into my life.

               

          THANK YOU BITCHES. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I’m grateful for everything,.. for letting me into your life. Thank you for bringing out the best in me. Thank you for making me cry and for making me laugh. Thank you for eating my food and for giving me food. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for those great lessons and those awesome memories. Thank you for understanding me. Thank you for being there,………

,…Thank you for being a part of me. I LOVE YOU MGA TOL~ always remember that,…

“When you think you're not happy with your life, always think that someone is happy simply because you exist.”

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LOL andame ko pang gustong sbihin kso lng mrami pa kong gagawin xDD sa susunod na lng ung iba basta,..HOI PAKSHET KAU MAHAL KO KAU xDD

BATANG SUGOD CANTEEN TAU DI BAH? PAPATINAG BA TAU? BEH HINDE!! xD

ITO’Y RESULTA LAMANG NG KADRAMAHAN NI AZUL XD,..

Hahah hnd ako may-ari ng mga quotes na yan LOL nkta ko lng yan kya credits to owners xD

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